Blood & Ink: Wednesday

being a good man vs. being good at being a man

I just finished ‘The Way of Men’ by Jack Donovan.

An author of ‘Masculine Philosophy’, Donovan expands the frame of masculinity and the role of men in society.

Most modern discourse boils down to what it means to be ‘a man’.

If you’re lucky (or persistent) you add nuance to what it meant to be a good man in the past, versus what it means to be a good man now.

In the Way of Men, Donovan opens a new frame: the difference between being a good man, and being good at being a man.

A crucial distinction.

Throughout human history, men established and protected a perimeter. They define a territory and hold the line. From natural disasters, to animal attacks, to marauding gangs.

No man can do this alone. No matter how good you are, you cannot withstand a dozen strong, capable, motivated barbarians attacking you. 

It takes a group—in Donovan’s words a gang—of capable, bonded men to uphold the perimeter. 

Men of the gang require 4 cardinal traits: strength, courage, mastery, and honor. 

• Strength: the ability to get shit done.

• Courage: the willingness to take risk.

• Mastery: developing useful skills.

• Honour: the trust and respect of other men.

Being able to do this is being good at being a man.

No discussion of morality, virtue, compassion, style, philosophy, politics. No discussion of being a good man.

There’s no philosophy of good men when you are under attack. When shit hits the fan, you look to men who are good at being men.

It goes one step further… 

You are only able to have the civilized discussion about being a good man because those who are good at being men have already established the perimeter, and provided the ongoing protection and resources needed for peace to prosper.

Being good at being a man comes first. It is the foundation of a stable masculine psyche and the fertile ground of a thriving culture.

This is why so many modern men are afflicted with anxiety, lack of self-esteem, and the inability to attract a partner. They are not good at being men, and everyone knows it.

A secure society and functional civilization is never guaranteed. It is earned each day anew.

Be good at being a man—then seek to be a good one,
Eric Brown.